Overheard and Quoteworthy

"My math is correct, I just counted wrong." - Jesse Miller V. 11th January 2010

What the?

Me: I need to change the first name of the passenger on reservation number ######,

Airline operator: We can't do that, we have to make another booking...

Me: The guy I spoke to 2 hours ago said it was okay as long as I only reserved it.

Airline operator: Sorry, we can only do another booking.

Me: fine, lets do that then,

Airline guy: the price has unfortunately increased by 60 Euros.

Me: why? It was only 2 hours ago that I reserved the first flight...

Airline guy: There arent many seats left.

Me: yes but there is definitely a seat left, because I had one reserved, so there is at least one seat for the original price available now.

Airline guy: well we have to book a new flight now so there are very few seats left.

Me: Yes, but I am not taking up any new seats, we are unreserving the one I booked not two hours ago, and rebooking it, because you say you cant just change the name, so I dont understand why it needs to be 60 Euros more expensive...

Airline guy: ... uh, ... hang on a minute...

Me: okay...

Airline guy: (returns to phone) okay, we can book at that price.

- and how much do you want to bet he just changed the name on the computer screen anyways...

Fish Dictionary

Sinceriously - Sincerely and Seriously for when you are both. "I sinceriously meant every word I said."

Spokeful - full of speech, talked alot "She was very spokeful."

Figgle - (pronounced with a long 'i') Fight and Struggle. "It was a figgle that had to be endured."

Protiquette - Protocol and Etiquette, when the intention is both required and in your nature. "We would of course greet the Ambassador with the proper protiquette."

Crazy subtle things to warp peoples minds and gently disturb the status quo

Eat a sandwich with a fork and knife. 

Stand at the arrivals area of the airport with a sign that says 'Madonna' or 'Brad Pitt' (Andreas, I love these ones - Brilliant) 

Other suggestions

'undercover FBI agent'

'you'

'welcome to london' (when not in london)

Ketchup???

The ingredients on Coronet Tomato Ketchup packet

Water, Glucose-Fructose syrup, Tomato Paste (15%), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Acidity Regulators (E260, E330), Preservative (E202), Spice Extracts.

(Now check this out)

Caution,

*May contain nuts, peanuts, sesame seeds, mustard, celery, fish, eggs, milk, soybeans, sulphites, and cereals containing gluten.

Why is there more actual food in the ‘caution may contain’ section than there is in the ‘ingredients’ section?

What's Wrong in the World? a quiz

please complete the following questionnaire to see if you can determine what is wrong with the world.

1. You want to shop in Belfast, Northern Ireland. You go into the bank to exchange your United States Dollars into Pounds Sterling. The teller apologizes but she cannot accept your $100 bills because they have had too many occurrences of counterfeit $100 bills from the USA and have lost money in the past. 

Do you:
Agree   We all benefit when there is less counterfeiting in the world. The banks will not need to raise charges and fees to compensate for their loss. 
Disagree   Banks deal with money. That's their product, thats their expertise - if they cannot find a way to detect counterfiet money, then who does?

2. You want to fly from London to New York (or from anywhere to bloody anywhere). At the airport you are asked to take off your shoes as part of security check. As well, when you pass through the security check, you must forfeit all liquids and gels etc over 100mls. Once past the security you are permitted to put your shoes back on, and you may now purchase any liquids you like. You discover that this is a result of two separate attempts to smuggle explosives onto a plane. 

Do You:

Agree Thank goodness they caught the attempts and saved lives. I do not mind going through these checks to ensure that no further attempts to smuggle bombs in shoes or liquids can occur.

Agree   As above BUT - I still feel that they should be more proactive in attempting to find other methods of smuggling in explosive devices.

Disagree All that above is fine, but it continues to impinge upon my civil rights, cause annoying delays and stress during air travel. And really, is the world any safer now?

The Realities of Reality

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I'm sorry, were you sleeping?

I didn't mean to wake you up from your dreams. I didn't mean to startle you tired eyes into looking into a world that is so much more than what you last saw before you drifted off to sleep.

Or perhaps I did mean it? Perhaps I unintentionally wanted you to see that the world is not how it relates or affects you. Perhaps I meant to shake you just enough so that you could see how you affect the world around you. 

2.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a secret. 

I have information that pertains to you and I and the situation, and thus now, I have a larger reality than you. I have omnipotence to some extent that you do not. My bubble is larger than yours. And so long as I keep my secret, you do not see that my bubble is larger than yours. You might think I am intuitive, or that I more intelligent; but the reality lies in what you don't know - and you don't know that there is something that you don't know...

Of course, I can't see that your bubble might be larger than mine.

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